The Only Reason I'd Become a Parent

Is to somehow reverse the iniquities of my own upbringing.

I swear that if I am ever blessed (cursed?) with child/ren, I will go out of my way to make them independent enough in their thoughts to never rely on me for approval, even if it means making them not care what I think at all. That way, when I say some stupid, god awful thoughtless idiot thing, I won't crush any good feeling they may have had at the time or stymie their ambitions or actions.

Ugh. And things were looking so up.

On the other hand, I know that I'm far too dependent on what my mother thinks (yes, this is really about me, but hey, MY BLOG!) and I'm just as responsible for altering my perceptions and changing my priorities as she should be for biting her ridiculous tongue.

She realized her gaffe and tried to appologize, but it was already too late. I am desperately trying to salvage the idea that what I'm doing matters and is important. Wow. I'm one sick puppy sometimes.